how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
