"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize