I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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