so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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