...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
