she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
