When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just invented taco cereal.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
