hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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