Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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