my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
