I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize