worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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