your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
