If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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