I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.