I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
