Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
