I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
