Soap is not a condiment
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Welp...herpes.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I got her a Nickelback box set.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
