The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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