Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
