i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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