so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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