idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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