youre lurking in front of me
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
