I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
