Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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