I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
