Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
