So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
