He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize