Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
