Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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