You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
