Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Just high enough for therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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