i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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