Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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