So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
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Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
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WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
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