Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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