she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I can't put those talents on a resume
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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