I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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