My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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