I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
