I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
