Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
