you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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