i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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