I hate your face
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
