plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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