My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
