No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
