In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face