Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I had to cum in my sink.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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