i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
