i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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