i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
