i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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