just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
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my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
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90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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