I could have mohawked her pubes.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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