She's JV to your varsity
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
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