i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
