The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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