so explain again why im purple
no
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
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Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
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Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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